First off, thank god mercury is out of retrograde! I just learned about this but apparently it happens several times a year and each time the little things become obstacles in you path when normally they would be of little concern. So here I am at home, no bootcamp, no training, my first ever psoriasis breakout is preventing me from filming until it clears, not seeing clients and unemployment said starting my own business was not grounds for support by edd and overturned my UI. huh, so this is an interesting moment of my life. There was only a brief time in my life where i didn't have a backup plan and no finances to rely on... and it was not a pretty time. This is new and yet similar. I am not reacting the way I could be by such a dire situation, yet my entire life could be brought down by a single breakout of a genetic skin disease brought on by stress. Considering I was voted most stressed in my high school class, it is curious that this is my first breakout.
Well, whatever caused the eruption of hideous red spots on me, they need to disappear or it is all over. I could not have prepared for such a common yet unknown mis-programming of the skin cells would lead me to financial ruin?!?! Doctors, friends and strangers have all offered their experiences, opinions and remedies that worked for them... but nothing has really taken to my skin. It's so stupid but so intrusive. It is embarrassing, people think you are diseased, grossed out by you, afraid to catch it. Not contagious and the horror you experience is assuredly 10x worse in my head!! It is enabling my depression to set back in, losing motivation to do anything, don't want to have sex, don't even want to be seen! it is uncomfortable, hurts, itches, annoys, messes with your self-image. it took a good 30 years to finally start believing in myself and just when I thought i might be okay with who i am, here comes a test of patience and helplessness I was not ready for.
I don't know what will happen next but my careers are suddenly on hold until this clears. seriously, WTF!!!!
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